We live in an age of outrage. Disagreements that once happened around dinner tables now unfold before online audiences. Hot takes replace thoughtful discussion. As Christians, we are called to do better. Here’s a collection of axioms on how to disagree like a Christian. It’s not an exhaustive list, but I pray it’s helpful.

1. Social media is great for vacation photos and birthday greetings, but toxic for disagreements. 
2. Just because you disagree with someone doesn’t mean you’re right and they’re wrong.
3. Feelings are not facts. 
4. Don’t lose a relationship to win an argument.
5. It’s okay to be friends with people with whom you disagree. 
6. In essentials, pursue unity. In non-essentials, extend grace.
7. Truth is rarely fully communicated in text messages or five-minute phone calls. Sit down for long conversations. Share a meal. Don’t be afraid to hit the pause button and resume the conversation later. 
8. Don’t ambush. Invite people into a conversation and let them know the content of the discussion in advance. Relieve any fear of hostility. Establish trust.
9. Hard conversations are needed. We are called to be peacemakers, not peacekeepers. This requires engagement.
10. Demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Can’t do it? Check your heart.
11. Disagreement should be principled, not personal.
12. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
13. Ask questions before making accusations.
14. Jesus flipped tables once (maybe twice). More often, he responded with compassion. Live accordingly.
15. Be slow to anger (James 1:19).
16. Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
17. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
18. Jesus was full of grace and truth (John 1:14). When you fail to follow his example, don’t shrug it off. Repent.